I still cherish every moment I have with Jan – Bob’s story
Bob, who has been married to Jan for 62 years, reflects on their beautiful relationship in spite of a heartbreaking journey with dementia.
Throughout our lives, we listen to, take part in, and dance to music and sound.
For people with dementia – even those who have lost their ability to communicate or are at the end of their life – music can be a powerful way to trigger positive feelings and connect with other people.
Research shows music can help reduce heart rate and blood pressure, relieve muscle tension and help people manage pain.
It can also trigger feel-good hormones called endorphins, which may ease depression, anxiety and agitation.
Music can have a positive impact on people’s mental abilities, too, improving:
All of these processes can be impaired by dementia, making music extremely beneficial for people with the diagnosis.
Listening to or engaging in music – for example, by singing, dancing or playing instruments – can help people with dementia develop and maintain relationships with others and improve their wellbeing.
It can:
Music can also help a person with dementia to connect with the past by evoking memories, feelings and emotions that they might otherwise find hard to express.
For example, they may find it easier to recall memories when they hear pieces of music that are significant to them – perhaps their favourite song from the past, or a lullaby they used to sing to their children.
Music can be used in a group or individually – both at home and in care settings. You could try:
It’s important to choose music that the person knows and enjoys, as they will be more likely to react positively to it.
You can do this by asking them or other family members and friends what they like, or by trying out music that was popular in the person’s youth or within their cultural background.
Start with quiet, gentle music and see how the person reacts.
You can use music to engage and connect with the person, for example by:
You can also use pictures or photos alongside the music to reminisce and share memories.
If the person seems uncomfortable or distressed, try something different – it may just be that they don’t like that particular music or song, but bear in mind that music can also trigger negative emotions or bad memories.
If this happens, the best response may just be to turn off the music and sit with them to offer comfort and reassurance.
Music therapy involves a trained person working with an individual or a group, using music to help them express themselves and communicate with others.
For some people with dementia, music therapy has been shown improve their thinking, feeling, perception, mood and behaviour. It can be used as part of a care plan.
In many areas, there are music and singing groups for people with dementia, and care homes often run music-based activities too.
You can also search for music therapy services and independent music therapists.
If you need advice on music and dementia – or any other aspect of dementia – please call the Dementia Helpline on 0800 888 6678 (Monday-Friday 9am-9pm, Saturday and Sunday 9am-5pm, every day except 25th December), email helpline@dementiauk.org or you can also book a phone or virtual appointment with an Admiral Nurse.
Dementia UK information
Our free, confidential Dementia Helpline is staffed by our dementia specialist Admiral Nurses who provide information, advice and support with any aspect of dementia.
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