How we can support you
Whether you have a question that needs an immediate answer or need emotional support when life feels overwhelming, these are the ways our dementia specialist Admiral Nurses can support you.
Our dementia specialist Admiral Nurses have supported hundreds of families over many years. When supporting families and people affected by dementia there are recurring themes and emotions that often arise, and one of these is the feeling of guilt.
Guilt can affect people in different ways and there is no one size fits all approach to dealing with it. Sometimes it can feel easier to try to push feelings of guilt away, but this doesn’t often help the situation.
Here are some varying perspectives of guilt and dementia, along with advice and guidance from our Chief Admiral Nurse.
Experiencing guilt when caring for someone living with dementia
Experiencing feelings of guilt is more common that you might think for people caring for a loved one. Our Admiral Nurses share their advice on how to cope with these feelings and provide support to help you manage.
“I feel guilty that I wasn’t more patient with Peter”
Susan cared for her husband, Peter, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2014 and died in 2021.
“I feel guilty that I wasn’t more patient, more kind and more understanding. Hindsight can be a cruel thing. You look back on things through a harsher lens than when you see them in real-time. In the moment, it felt like things were escalating out of my control. I reacted in the best way I could, but I can’t help but replay moments in my mind.”
“I feel guilty that I’ve let Mum down by moving her into residential care”
Penny is the primary carer for her mum, Rosemary, who was diagnosed with mixed dementia in 2016.
“Even though I have now found the right care home for her, the feelings of guilt don’t go away. I feel it is my fault that she is not at home with her things, even though I can see that would be impossible now. I visit her every week, but I worry all the time about whether I’m seeing her enough.”
Read more about Penny and her mum
“I feel guilty for not doing enough for Gran – you always feel you could have done more”
Ricky cared for his grandmother, Harbaksh, who had Alzheimer’s disease and died in April, 2024.
“As Gran went through the different stages of dementia and gradually declined, there was guilt through every phase of having not done enough earlier. It is a feeling that stays with you, but it is not logical and you have to allow yourself empathy.”
“I feel guilty that I lived so far away from home when Dad was diagnosed”
Lizzie’s dad, Rob, was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia at age 58. He died in May, 2024.
“No matter where I was or what I was doing, there was this underlying pull – the feeling that I should be there, that I wasn’t doing enough. Guilt is an easy trap to fall into but looking back, I was doing my best in an impossible situation.”
Read more about Lizzie and her dad
